BUILDING CONFIDENCE IN YOUR DAUGHTER
10 Important Things Parents Need To Teach Their Daughters About Confidence And Being Their Best Self
Confidence is one of the most important things parents need to teach their young children as they grow into teens. So, how do you teach them to be their best self?
Let’s start with you. Do you remember what it felt like to be turning 9 years old?
Did you hate being identified as a “kid” anymore because your next years were double-digits and then becoming a teenager was only officially three short years away?
Do you remember how high your self-esteem was and you couldn’t wait to get going out in the real world?
By the time you turned 16, did you think you had world totally figured out?
No one could explain anything to you because, well, you already knew the answer to every question, right? You found a voice and, yes, sometimes that ended in you opening your mouth and putting your foot in it.
Remembering your younger self probably makes you cringe sometimes. Or, even make you laugh.
Do you remember the half-baked ideas, angst, and irrational behavior? In retrospect, it probably all seems silly now.
It’s only when you get older that you understand the importance of knowing how you start off creates how you are perceived and even many of the opportunities that are offered to you in life.
I wish someone I respected had told me this back then and guided me through the pitfalls of low self-esteem and of cracking the confidence code.
Yet, instead of dwelling on your past, look to your daughter (or to another young woman in your life) who seems to be growing up faster than you can watch a season of “House of Cards”.
She needs advice on how to be more confident so she can become her best self — advice that maybe you wish someone had given you and supported you with when you were young.
As a parent with a daughter, here are 10 simple yet valuable things you can teach her about self-confidence as steps into womanhood.
- STOP SAYING “SORRY”
Tell her to only say “sorry” when she’s in the wrong and needs to take true accountability of her actions.
Teach her to use the phrases “Excuse me” or “Pardon me”, which are less submissive forms of communication yet are great for conveying an acknowledgement of an interruption or an unexpected encounter.
- SPEAK UP
Teach her to speak up for what she believes in and what she wants. (And no, not just for your credit card!)
This means asking for what she wants, whether she gets it all or not. Hearing “no” can be a powerful motivator.
- GET OVER THE NEED TO BE LIKED BY EVERYONE
This will teach her to be a self-starter and to take risks. She doesn’t need everyone’s permission or to be liked to be who she wants.
Being respected, appreciated, and acknowledged is more critical than being “liked”, which is, of course, impossible by everybody.
- SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
Make sure she knows by getting to the point and saying what she means she will rarely be misunderstood or disrespected. She will learn to communicate clearly without resorting to being a “yes” person.
- LEARN TO LISTEN AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Tell her the importance of listening and what it can do to her personal and professional relationships. She will thank you later!
- ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT
Make sure she knows that it’s ok to ask for help and support. It doesn’t make her weak, it makes her stronger and more confident in her own abilities in the end.
7. BE SELF-LOVING
Teach her to depend on herself and to enjoy her own company. Once she is, you’ll never have to worry about her wellbeing. Saying “no” can also be a powerful self-loving tip.
8. BE 100 PERCENT ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS
When she’s accountable she’ll learn personal responsibility and how to make and execute on the right choices. If she doesn’t like where her life is headed, she’ll know it’s up to her to make changes and take different actions that will lead to different results.
9. TRUST YOUR INTUITION
Tell her sometimes only she knows what’s right for herself. Take the time to tap into and trust her gut feeling, most of the time it’s right.
10. FIND AND CULTIVATE GREAT ROLE MODELS
Make sure she knows her life is her own and she shouldn’t live it for anyone else yet great advice will smooth her path.
She can find these in her parents, great friends, bosses, colleagues — everywhere she is open to allowing great support in her life. She only has one life and she will want to make it count.
Parenting may not be easy but teaching your kids how to build confidence as they grow up can be one of the most rewarding aspects of being a parent.
The sooner your daughter is able to instill these very important lessons into her life, the easier she will grow into her own as a strong, confident and harmonized woman, who can support other women in becoming the woman they are destined to be!
That is all you really want for her and yourself in the end — a life full of love, prosperity, and vitality.
Fiona Fine is an author, coach, and a Relationship and Communications Expert. Get a copy of her book, Babe In Total Control of Herself, and create more prosperity, more vitality, and more connection with the relationships that matter the most to you!
August 10, 2020